Impressing The Ladies
by CaramelCamel
Summary: Ezio utterly embarrasses himself. How does he win back his dignity? The answer: he doesn't. No slash :P
1. Chapter 1

''This will be my death place.'' Ezio said sullenly, glaring out over the Venetian rooftops.

''Don't be silly, _amico mio_.'' Leonardo laughed, prancing precariously on the tiles, much to Ezio's concern. ''You will be the first _flying-man._''

That didn't sound too reassuring. The assassin was perfectly fine with clinging onto window ledges eighty metres above ground, yet the sheer thought of crashing into window ledges eighty metres above ground was rather nerve-wracking.

''Leonardo.''

''Yes, Ezio?''

''Are you trying to kill me?''

Leonardo laughed again and gave Ezio a pat on the shoulder.

''I would not be allowing you to try out my new invention if I thought you'd die as a result of it.'' He said.

Ezio had enough trust in his friend to the extent that he would do practically anything if it were to only please him, but he was aware that Leo had some rather eccentric ideas that he couldn't _always_ trust.

The frigid wind whipped at the exposed skin on his face as he stared dumbly over the rooftops. He had never really considered it before, but _damn_ were they high up! Leonardo was still garbling encouragements enthusiastically behind him, though Ezio took no notice. How he somehow found Leap of Faiths' to be easier than soaring through the sky was unbeknownst to him, though he supposed it was because he could dive into a haystack with some level of accuracy whereas a flying machine prototype could take him anywhere, probably to his grave.

''Ezio, I had always assumed a life as an assassin would make this sort of thing easy.'' Leonardo said from behind him.

''It has. Though I realise now that I am not ready to die.'' Ezio grumbled. His toes peaked over the edge of the metre long plank protruding from the roof. There was no haystack below, nor a mountain of flowers-just a cobbled piazza.

''Have some faith, amico.'' Leonardo approached Ezio and placed a hand reassuringly on his back. ''I have a feeling this will take a while, I'm sorry.''

''About wha-''

Suddenly the hand that had only a few moments ago been on Ezio's back for comfort, now pushed swiftly and before the assassin could react, his perilously placed feet stacked over the plank and he fell towards the cobbled streets below. In that millisecond, Ezio realised his friend was a murderer.

''_LEOOOOO-!_'' his words trailed off as the wind rushed past his face like a scythe. It was fairly similar to a Leap of Faith-the adrenaline pumping through his veins, the thrill of plummeting through the air- except now was the added thought that Ezio was indeed falling towards the courtesans below and not a soft haystack or blossom mound. There were screams from all around as Ezio prepared to smash into the floor when the flying machine suddenly swerved back towards the grey skies. The wind once again slapped into his face and there was the most pleasant feeling of his facial features being ripped from his skin when the air turned unusually calm and the horrified screams of civilians subsided. Relief rushed through his stiff body as the contraption diverged tranquilly around buildings.

It came almost naturally to Ezio, once he made the first turn around the Palazzo Ducale by putting more pressure onto the right handle; he found he could navigate his way around the sky rather easily. He hadn't failed to notice however, the flying machine leaning towards the ground every second that passed and hastily turned towards the building in which he had set off.

''Leonardo! I will kill you when I get back-'' he yelled to the small blonde who was grinning giddily at the success of his contraption. The look of triumph quickly morphed into one of dread and horror.

''E-Ezio! Watch out … _eeeeeesh_.'' He cringed slightly and rushed to the edge of the building ''E-Ezio!''

The assassin had slammed directly into the side of the stone building and slid down like a dollop of bird shit on a window. The flying machine had fallen and was floating in a small canal beside the tower. The assassin fell too, robes swirling in the icy wind and landed with a splash in the reticent canal.

Leonardo flew wide-eyed down the spiralling staircase and dashed over the soaking assassin, who had managed to crawl out -sopping wet- onto the bank.

''Ezio! Are you alright?'' he asked worriedly, helping the assassin sit up. It would cause trouble if he had a concussion of some sort. Ezio glared at the artist.

''Yes. But your invention isn't.'' he said tilting his dripping chin in the direction of the floating wreckage. Leonardo bit his lip.

''That doesn't matter. Did you hit your head?''

''No''

''Are you feeling fine?''

''Yes.''

''Then what's wrong?''

Ezio glared straight ahead across the debris floating in the murky waters of the canal. Leonardo noticed that his face had turned a dark shade of pink.

''Ezio…''

Suddenly, the assassin muttered quietly:

''Look behind you.''

Leonardo's gaze slowly averted over his shoulder and there he saw a fairly large crowd of the courtesans from the brothel laughing like they had just seen the most hilarious thing play out.

Then he realised.

They just had.

He began laughing too.

''Oh Ezio, you will probably be the comedian of Venezia now! I'm sure the women will like you just a bit better.''

Ezio huffed, still red in the face and refusing to turn around. ''I don't want to be the comedian. I doubt I will ever be able to travel around Venezia without being regarded as the biggest _fool_.''

''Don't think too much of it. These women don't make up the entire female population in Venezia, you know.'' Leonardo stated. Ezio seemed to have calmed down slightly, though the courtesans were still laughing at the scene they had witnessed. One smaller lady emerged from the crowd and cautiously approached the two men.

''Excuse me signore, are you alright-''

''I am _fine_.'' Ezio hissed, standing up. His boot however had become caught in the woman's frilly ankle-length dress and in a vain attempt to remove it, slid over the slippery bank and toppled back into the water, bringing the screaming courtesan with him.

Leonardo watched the spectacle whilst rubbing his temples. The other courtesans were laughing louder than ever, some had doubled over with laughter. The artist made a quick move to help the disgraced courtesan from the canal. Dishevelled and enraged, she spat into the water and strutted away, her beautiful dress drenched in muddy slime. Ezio placed his arms over the bank and buried his face in his sleeves, groaning.

Leo held back ferocious laughter and crouched beside his friend.

''Ughhhhhhh… this has been the worst day of my life.'' The assassin mumbled, almost inaudibly.


	2. Chapter 2

After Leonardo had made sure Ezio was completely fine, he insisted the assassin should stay another night or two, though as always, Ezio kindly rejected his offer. Apparently, he had a meeting with Rosa, which he simply could not miss and seeing as his robes were almost dry, saw no reason to stay. Leonardo felt that odd pang of guilt as Ezio took his leave. It seemed one unfortunate event happened after the other and although the artist knew it was an utterly ridiculous idea, he thought about how safe his friend would be if he spent more of his time in the workshop and not on the rooftops.

He could not restrain the man though and keeping that in mind, bid Ezio a safe day (or month, or year) as the familiar white robes flashed around and corner and left his sight. He sighed and shut the door, turning to the wreck that was his workshop; an unfinished portrait sat in the corner, art supplies were strewn around his room and the velvety curtains were caked with paint.

He would have some tidying up to do.

Ezio could only hope the courtesans that had witnessed the earlier spectacle were not lingering in the area, though the workshop was quite a while from the Palazzo. It was still a freezing day; ominous clouds hung in the grey sky and the air was colder than he had ever remembered. Sometimes he couldn't help but wonder if the weather was cold, or if it were simply how he felt.

Not only that, but the day had grown dimmer, the streets quieter. The assassin was in his element, notorious as he was around these parts, he could see no danger-no guards perched on the roofs or patrolling the ground, no annoying official or even the usual preacher- it was all so freezing and silent.

That was, until something smashed into his side. The impact of whoever or whatever it was sent the assassin flying to the ground.

''What the-'' and the weight was removed. Over his head flew a white cape, billowing over his face. Rather dazed from the collision, Ezio turned and blinked. The figure had disappeared into another dingy alley. Upon turning around, he was greeted with the shouts and footsteps of guards.

''There's the other one! _Tirarlo!_''

Ohhhh shi-

Ezio automatically leapt to his feet, staggering slightly before running the way the mysterious figure had.

''Merda merda merda merda…'' he muttered to himself as he ran. Who _was_ that?

The only thing he could really focus on now was escaping the evil clutches of Venezia's guards. Having been resting in Leo's workshop for practically half the day, he was in a rather good state for free-running and climbed the nearest building. Half way up the stone house, a wave of shock flew through the assassin as an arrow embedded itself into the wall, centimetres from Ezio's leg.

''Euugghh.'' He let out a small worried noise and hurried up the side. _Damn archers._

As soon as he set foot on the rooftops, he ran as fast as he possibly could. The guards were beginning to lose sight of Ezio, their suspicion waning to the point were a few looked about, shrugged and climbed carefully back down to solid ground.

He hadn't failed to notice however, quite a commotion a few blocks away and cautiously approached the source of the sound of clashing swords and curses. Once there, he peeked warily over the edge. The first thing he saw was the vaguely familiar white cloak that had flown over him, billowing out behind its owner: a rather young male, perhaps a few years younger than Ezio wearing a rather fancy outfit. The next thing Ezio caught sight of gave him quite a shock: a blade, identical (if not slightly larger in width) to his own. To the assassin's hidden blade.

He… he was an assassin?

Ezio observed him quizzically for a span of 5 seconds, before realising the young man was lagging, falling behind and the guards were right at his heels. Feeling obliged to help him, Ezio descended the building as quick as he could. By this time, the crowd of guards had noticed him, though the ''assassin'' had not.

''You'll regret being here, _Assassino! Get him!_ And don't let that _thief_ escape either!''

_Thief? _Ezio asked himself as he ran. His lunges were faster than the smaller mans and he swooped him up in a fraction of a second, slinging him over his shoulder. He was heavier than he looked and harder to carry as a result of his writhing and wriggling and yells to let him down.

''Shut up, _idiota_.'' Ezio hissed, though as anticipated, the ferocious shouts continued.

A few more turns around buildings and the guards had almost lost sight of the pair. The young man seemed to have lost his voice as well as his will to escape and Ezio trusted himself to loosen his grip. As soon as the ''assassin'' felt the change in pressure, he lifted his leg and kicked Ezio where no man should be kicked.

''UGH! MIO DIO, BASTARDO!'' he dropped the smaller male and fell to his knees, bending over and squeezing his eyes shut, as if he were trying to squeeze out the flaring pain.

''ha ha ha.''

''UGHHHHHHHH.''

''I'm sorry.''

''_Sorry!?_''

The man shrugged.

''_Who the hell are you anyways!?_'' _and what was that for!? Ezio thought_, though he couldn't be bothered to form the words.

''I am wondering whether I should give you my name.'' he said thoughtfully. ''Then again, I see no immediate threat from someone who is so easily reduced to clutching himself on the ground.''

''Get on with it.'' Ezio snarled, pulling himself slowly to his feet.

''My name is Il Lupo.'' He said. ''And you?

''The wolf?'' Ezio asked, eyeing the stranger. ''…Odd.''

''And you are?'' Lupo repeated.

''Ezio.'' He replied, removing his sword from its sheath ''what were you doing, stealing?''

''Ay.'' He said calmly. He turned to look the assassin straight in the eye. ''I've seen you before.''

Ezio didn't know anyone who hadn't seen him at least once in Venezia. ''And?''

''I have seen you jump from one of those.'' Lupo said, pointing in the direction of a tall tower. Ezio remembered having done a Leap of Faith from that one not long ago.

''And?'' he repeated, sword at the ready.

''And I was wondering if you could teach me how to perform one properly.''

The assassin lowered his sword a little in surprise. ''w-what?''

Lupo paced about the dark alley ''I'm sorry for running into you. I was going to ask you what I just have. I realised the guards were tailing me a little too late. Perhaps I should have been more careful about who I stole from.'' He said absent-mindedly. ''Dio mio, sorry. Yes. How about it? I'm sure such a skill would come in handy.''

''I don't even know what you _do_.'' Ezio snorted. ''A far as I am concerned, I could be teaching my skills to a murderer.''

''But you are a murderer Ezio.'' Lupo replied quickly.

''Wh- have you been- what are you saying?''

''Why so surprised Ezio? I have seen you kill, as have the rest of Venezia.''

''I'm not teaching you anything.'' Ezio spat and with that, he lowered his head and walked from the alley.

A couple minutes later, the image appeared abruptly in his mind. That blade. That _assassin_ blade. How could he have forgotten!? He whipped around to see the alley deserted and silent.


End file.
